Generation Y

Gala: Technology distances millennials within romantic relationships

On August 18, Ashley Madison members had 99 problems, and at least one of which was a really angry wife. Karma came back to bite 37 million users when hackers released account information from Ashley Madison, a dating website for people seeking extramarital affairs. Ouch.

The leak released members’ names, addresses, phone numbers and (usually creepy) sexual preferences – Josh Duggar, we’re looking at you. The devoutly religious “19 Kids and Counting” TV star turned incestuous predator made an appearance in the hackers’ Burn Book. According to the 27-year-old’s Ashley Madison account, by committing to an affair, a woman could score a “bubble bath for two,” “gentleness” and a $250 paycheck. Keep it.

Determining whether a spouse is cheating via Ashley Madison is just one concern on millennials’ list of tech-related worries. Technology has completely revolutionized how millennials navigate romantic relationships. Cheating, relationship drama and mind games are not unique to Generation Y. However, millennials are different in that they have more decisions, tools and messages to juggle than ever before.

Generation Y is constantly plugged in. Four out of five millennials, aged 18 to 34, report that the first thing they do when they upon waking up is reaching for their smartphones. Guilty. With all this connection, one may assume millennials’ relationships to be stronger than ever, since communication is key to a healthy partnership. However, when it comes to communication, it is quality, not quantity.

Generation Y’s high-tech lives do not make relationships easy. The perception of maintaining relationships is key to the justification of social media use. Yet, it is important to note that the actual effectiveness of online social networks at establishing and maintaining relationships has not been proven.



Technology is often a point of tension in romantic relationships. For the modern couple, constant contact is love. Because technology allows it, lovebirds expect to maintain all-day communication via iMessage. If Bae doesn’t text back for a few hours, it is safe to assume they either died or aren’t loyal, even though they probably just fell asleep. It is not unusual for couples to monitor each other’s iPhones in search of transgressions to get salty about.

In addition to constantly proving their love to each other, couples must also validate it to the world. Facebook Official (FBO) status is recommended. Vows of love on Instagram in the form of paragraph-long anniversary captions are common.

Thanks to technology, Generation Y plays epic mind games. To start a fling with a millennial, wait a day before following them back on Twitter to avoid looking eager. Facebook stalk them back to their prom pics. Confer with friends before throwing the double text. Like Instagram posts. Send Snapchats while ignoring texts.

Technology has completely changed the game of love. Spouses can turn to websites with the motto: “Life is short. Have an affair.” Affection is conveyed through kissy emojis instead of the words “I like you.” Millennials have tough conversations screen-to-screen, scraping basic interactions clean of important elements like tone, eye contact and expression.

Does anyone else think this is complicated? Love is more of a puzzle than ever, and then we wonder why millennials marry later in life than any other generation in history.

Alison Gala is a senior public relations major. Her column appears weekly. She can be reached at aegala@syr.edu and followed on Twitter @alison_gala.





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